Dear Love,

Go ahead and fuck the girl next door. Flirt with the girl who won't even give a shit 'cause she doesn't even know who the hell you are. Tell me my opinion doesn't matter. Slam the door in my face. It's alright. I don't care. Hell, go fuck every girl I know. My opinion doesn't matter. 
And since what I say won't change what you think it feel; I just wanted to let you know... Let you know that I'm so fucking stupid. I told you things that I've never even told my best friend. I trusted you so much more than I even trusted myself. I told you that... That I love you. That was probably the first mistake- letting someone in. Letting someone know me. Letting someone care about me. I shoulda stopped it there.
 
... But I didn't. 
I did the exact opposite. I let you in. I told you I loved you. That I hated being without you. I hated being alone. That you make my days seem so much better. More worth it.
 
Maybe I put too much pressure on you. So I told you that I'd be quiet now but you only told me that you loved me. That you wanted to know me. That you cared about me. That I made you happy. That we were... We were all that really mattered. It didn't matter what anyone said about us. You would always love me.  

... I believed every word. 

And, darling, I know, I let my heart win. My fragile, broken heart won. That was my second mistake. I should never ever listen to my heart. But I told myself that you'd be different. You'd be there for me. You'd hold me up. Plus, you made me feel truly happy for once in my life. You made me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Made me love all these stupid cliches. You made me love you.
Stupid, foolish, idiotic me.  
I thought you were my special something. You made me feel confident. Strong.. More importantly, I felt loved for once. 

But, let's face it. That was a little too perfect. A little too cliche. Too much like a happy ending. And we'd hate for that to happen. 
So it died. 
I killed it. 
My one little, stupid mistake was all it took to break you. To make you realize that you no longer loved me. That I wasn't the right one anymore. 

You told me goodbye. 

What was I supposed to do? What could I have said?
So my heart stopped. 
My body number. 
I couldn't feel anything. 
Tears were pouring down my face. I didn't even notice until i felt my heart break in half. My heart was sinking. Breaking apart. Falling apart. 
And you didn't care. 

Baby, I shouldn't be telling you this. But I can't hold it in any longer and I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense. I'm a mess and these tears aren't letting me see clearly. 
But you should just know that your the reason I don't sleep at night. That I don't talk as much anymore. That my heart is closed off to anyone who wants to know me. That I hate myself because I know that I will always love you. That I'll always remember the way you held me. The way you always whispered 'I love you.' The way I felt when you hugged me. When you kissed me... 
... Fuck. 
I fell so hard. 
And even 'til now.. When I see you I can feel myself die inside. But I can't help but smile too. 
Stupid masochist.
My days seem so much better when I simply talk to you. Even though it hurts to see you happy. Like nothings changed. Like I'll wake up tomorrow and you'll kiss me the way you used to. Even though it hurts to see you happy, I can't say anything because I don't wanna see you mad anymore. I don't wanna hear you yell or hate me. 

I don't know what's left to say. I don't know how to let you go. I'm sorry is all that I can really say. 

But like I said before, go ahead fuck her. Flirt with her. Date her. 
I don't care
Be happy. 
Just maybe, if you get a chance, remember that I love you. 
Remember that I never did let go. 

I guess it's my turn to say goodbye...
No, I still can't say it. I can't even write it. I'm still in denial. 

...
These tears are pushing me to sleep so...

Good night love,
(signed) 

A lost, forgotten memory.